Asking someone to meet online dating
A high school girl described meeting a boyfriend online: “For me personally, it was from Facebook and it was a friend of a friend. And then we started Skyping, and after that we just kind of started a relationship.”“I’ve met a person over Instagram, actually. But it didn’t last that long.”“I was dating this girl that I met through a social website that probably hardly anybody knows about. A high school girl explained: “It looks a little more creepy.
And then like we just like really liked each other. And, I mean, you…it’s not like you just kind of comment on their picture like, hey, here’s my number. I’d be kind of creeped out if someone mentioned my photos from a long time ago, especially because those photos tend to be very embarrassing.
Teens in our focus group described a variety of practices for flirting on social media. But despite the wide range of communication technologies available to modern teens, the time-tested tradition of asking in person continues to be the main way teens would ask out someone they were interested in.
One high school girl explained: “A little bit more bold over text, because you wouldn’t say certain things in person. you just wouldn’t say certain things in, like, talking face to face with them because that might be kind of awkward. Cause they’re not really there.” Many teens use social media as a venue to flirt and interact with potential romantic partners, but for those on the receiving end of those advances, social media flirting can often turn in a much less desirable direction. Some 52% of teens say if they wanted to ask someone out on a date, they would usually do that in person.
Fully 31% of 13 and 14-year-old girls have blocked or unfriended someone for this reason—this figure is similar to the 38% of older girls who have done so, and nearly triple the rate among 13- and 14-year-old boys. By contrast, boys are nearly twice as likely as girls to say they would usually ask someone out in person if they’re interested in going on a date (69% vs.
A high school girl in our focus groups related her experience with uncomfortable online pursuit: “I think of stalking like if a person is constantly typing to you or something. 35%), and are also significantly more likely than girls to ask someone out via text message (27% vs. Boys and girls are equally likely to say they would ask someone out by calling them on the phone, messaging them on a social networking site or getting one of their friends to ask for them.
For instance, Latino teens are more likely than whites to say they have created a music playlist for someone they were interested in dating (14% vs. ”“Well, there was this girl who was kind of crazy for me. It was awkward and creepy and stalker-ish.” Liking old photos in people’s profiles struck many as creepy, because it revealed that the person was searching deep into your history.
8%), while African-American teens are more likely than whites to say they have expressed interest by sending flirty/sexy pictures or videos (15% vs. On the other hand, girls and boys take nearly identical steps to show their romantic interest: There are no significant differences between girls and boys on any of these behaviors. A group of high school boys describe another scenario where flirting becomes unnerving – when the volume of communication became inappropriate: High school boy 1: Ultimately, getting someone to actually go out on a date is presumably the primary objective of these various modes of flirting.
They’re old, and I’m like, why did I post a photo of me?For example, there is a 15-point gap between older and younger teens when it comes to sending flirtatious messages (37% of older teens and 22% of younger teens have done so), but a substantially larger 49-point gap between those who are or have been in a relationship of some kind and those who have not (63% of teens with relationship experience have sent flirtatious messages to someone, compared with just 14% of those without).There also are some modest differences relating to race and ethnicity in terms of the ways in which teens show interest in potential romantic partners. And then I didn’t want to talk to her anymore because it was creepy, and she tracked my phone to my house. She was on the lawn and she used lots of vulgar language …Indeed, 25% of all teens (representing one-third of teen social media users) have unfriended or blocked someone on social media because that person was flirting in a way that made them uncomfortable. However, other approaches – online as well as offline – are relatively popular as well: Around one-quarter of teens (26%) say they would not ask at all – that they would wait for the person they were interested in to ask them first – while 6% indicate they would ask the person out using some option other than the ones listed above.
Just as adult women are often subject to more frequent and intense harassment online, teen girls are substantially more likely than boys to experience uncomfortable flirting within social media environments. When it comes to dating, some traditional practices remain common.
For teens who meet romantic partners online, it is common for those relationships to never actually progress to the point of a physical meeting. Given the number of years today’s teens have been using social media and the volume of content posted to social media profiles, potential suitors have access to a motherlode of material on their crush.